


Picking up the Pieces

by NarniaAtHogwarts



Category: Narnia - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:49:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarniaAtHogwarts/pseuds/NarniaAtHogwarts
Summary: It started with Peter. When he stopped believing, I had to pick up the pieces of the messes he'd made.I became tired. I'd had enough. And this time he knew.





	Picking up the Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I always though the Pevensie siblings should have been older than in the books.  
> Well except maybe the LWTW 
> 
> Prince Caspian: Peter: 16/17  
> Susan:15/16, Edmund: 13/14, Lucy: 11/12
> 
> Dawn Tredar: Edmund: 16/17, Lucy: 13/14, Eustace: 12/13 (I don't actually know how old Eustace was in the Dawn Tredar)

Disclaimer: I do not own The Chronicles of Narnia if I did the incident at deathwater island would have go differently....so nope I don't

Peter 

It started with Peter. Not straight away, for a month maybe he was the caring king we knew back in Narnia. But of course, the transition from a king to a boy was hard, and Peter grew bitter. Almost like I was before Narnia except for different reasons. He felt abandoned. Not that I could blame him. I think dad set it off. It was coming, the anger building up behind bright blue eyes, but with dad back in the picture Peter could no longer be the man of the house, he couldn't try to form so of his kingly self. And so he became angry, all the time. I took the brunt of course, well I could t let my sisters get yelled at by the high king and let's face it, I deserved it. Karma for my attitude before Narnia. 

He yelled, he hit, he even got drunk. I watched him tear apart the King he became, I watched him break his promise and push us away. I allowed him to break my things when he was in a rage, I pretended it didn't hurt when he forgot my birthday, I stayed with him when he had nightmares, I let him hit me once. So he didn't get into another fight. 

We were sat as a family at dinner, quite unusual considering Peter was usually out, Susan was studying and dad doing god knows what. I can't remember what we were talking about. But I definitely remember what he said. 

"Oh shut up Lucy what do you know about anything! Your such a nuisance!" 

I was already irritated, some kids a few years above me had beaten me up earlier, surpringly careful to keep any bruises from my face. They left me in the snow. I hate snow. But I watched her face crumble, her eyes fill with tears, everything she was; all the optimism, happiness, energy and life seemed to drain out of her. In my reign I wasn't as well know to become protective over my sisters. Peter did that well enough, and they could fight their own battles. On the times I were, it wasn't pretty. And this time, I snapped. 

I rose from my seat, chair scraping across the floor, eyes flashing, face of thunder. 

"I'm done with this Peter Pevensie, how dare you speak to her like that! You may be my brother but I can and will punch you. You may be a king but here a mere child, just like the rest of us. And we hurt just as much as you. I am done picking up the pieces you leave behind, I'm done saving your ass in silly arguments that turn into fights. I love you Peter, Aslan knows, I love you so much. But if you can't see, if you can't understand your not the only person hurting, if you are really blinded by false feelings of abandonment, then I can no longer call you my king, you will always be my brother, I will fight by your side as a brother. But not a king. I can't pledge my allegiance to you any longer. Aslan be with you dear brother. You are not my king until you prove yourself to be" 

Silence followed. I didn't yell, I didn't need to. Unlike Peter or Lucy, Susan and I could make an audience silent without raising our voices. Mum and Dad were gaping, sat stunned in their seats. Susan nodded to me, a nod of approval, I had done the right thing. But I didn't need her approval, I would have done it with or without her presence. Lucy watched me, slightly scared. And Peter? He stood, watching me carefully, face pale, eyes almost seeing me for the fist time. 

"I've been a prick, haven't I?" He whispered quietly. Eyes only on me. I simply glared, no need to nod. "May your sword never stray Peter" I spoke low, face changing, becoming impassive. He flinched backwards and Lucy let out a small gasp. I had told him that before every battle, starting with Beruna. "Because your heart obviously has" his face seemed to get whiter. I had never said this to him before. It usually was 'because it needs to protect your heart'. He would have smiled and repeated something similar. But this time I had no spoken answer. Instead he stumbled around the table, as if he'd forgotten how to walk, and wrapped me into a bear hug, a Peter hug. One I hadn't felt in months. I almost crumbled, I almost lost all the strength I'd been using to stay strong for my siblings. Almost, but not quite.  
"I-I'm so sorry" he croaked into my ear. His body trembled. "Never forget Pete" I whispered, pulling away and running a hand through his blonde locks. "Aslan would never abandon us" it was too low for anyone else but him to hear. And a new light sprung in his eyes. 

He fought at the train station the next day. But only to defend me from my personal bullies. Slowly the old Peter was coming back. And a trip into Narnia brought him back for good. 

Susan

Susan was next to fall. It wasn't unexpected though, her logical mind could only come up with one solution, even if her heart disagreed. It was like getting one sibling back a loosing another. My strength was dimming. But I'd held Peter up through the hard times, and I wasn't stopping for Susan. So I tried, we all tried to get through to her. She was hurting, we could see. But how can we comfort someone refusing to believe, refusing to see what she was loosing. Even Lucy was giving up hope that her older sister would return. 

And then, just like Peter had, she said something, something that made me not just angry, but hurt. 

"Please stop talking about that silly game of yours" 

Peter froze, eyes widening in horror from where he sat with Lucy playing chess. They had been talking quietly about battle strategies from our reign. Apparently not quiet enough.  
Lucy gasped, flinching backwards as though she had been hit. I stood, like before, and called out to her.

"Caspian" 

She froze in the doorway, their parents weren't home. 

"Miraz"  
"The Telmarines" 

She turned around slowly. I watched her reaction carefully. 

"The horn"  
"Father Christmas"  
"Your bow and arrows"

We stared at each other almost wary. Peter and Lucy stood, eyes wide. 

"The beavers"  
"Forever Winter"  
"The Prophecy" 

"All a game" she hissed, angrier than we had ever seen her. 

"Was it. Was Jadis a game? We're her dungeons a game?" I kept my voice steady, dark eyes staring deep in to her own. 

"Was Beruna a game?" 

A sharp slap echoed around the living room. I staggered backwards, hot stinging erupting in my cheek. Peter leapt towards us with a snarl, face furious, I straightened holding out a hand to stop him. I turned back to Susan whose face was pale, eyes glistening, seemingly shocked at her own actions and stepped towards we until we were almost touching noses. 

"Don't you ever say the pain was a game"

My voice got softer yet harsher. Susan recoiled violently. I stepped away as the front door opened. Our parents walked and paused, happy smiles fading from their faces. 

"Remember who you are Susan." 

I spun around and walked past our confused and berwildered parents. A bruise already forming on my cheek. 

And she did. Everything she tried to push away came pouring out of her as tears. She stood one hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. And no amount of pleading from mum could make her tell why she was crying. Lucy pulled her up to their room. She didn't wouldnt come out until two days later, where the first thing she did was apologise. 

But you know, I found I didn't need to hear it.

Post Dawn Tredar

It hurts, just like I expected it to. Eustace seems more excited than anything else, ready to go back. Lucy, she has cried, and now she joins Eustace in remembering all the good memory's and is always up to telling stories about our reign. That's what I love about Lucy, she always remembers the good. And of course there was a change. She spends much more time with Eustace than me, and a lot of that is outside. 

I'm calm, dignified, but happy to help Lucy recount the tales. Until recently that is. Because Lucy got a boyfriend. One that I didn't know about until Eustace let slip accidentally. I wrote to Peter and Susan. It seemed they knew also, Lucy had already told them about her crush. And now she'd acted upon it. 

And it hurt. But even more so It was scary. Why hadn't she told me? I avoid her now, I can't tell anyone why, I'd tried to draft a letter to Peter, but I couldn't write it. I mean how much of a coward can I be! But apparently I wasn't very good at slipping away from her or Eustace. Because Peter arrives on the front step with a smile whilst Lucy drags me to her bedroom. 

I could hear Eustace and Peter laughing about something downstairs and the kettle boiling. The door was locked and Lucy stood in front of it, arms crossed. I winced and went to stand by the open window, the comfort of knowing I was t really tapped inside a small...room....that seemed to get smaller.....and smaller....

"Edmund" I jumped at Lucy's voice, both hands snapping to my waist where my swords should have been. "Ed why are you avoiding me?" I could hear the hurt in her voice and flinched, hands shaking slightly. 

I couldn't tell her. No, she would think me weak, call me a coward. I mean change isn't a bad thing right? Or is it? Caspian would be repulsed to hear my thoughts, a king this pathetic. So much for Just King. 

I hadn't felt my breathe speed up of my body shake. I hadn't heard Lucy's voice or her yells. I didn't hear Peters hard footsteps up the stairs. No. I was delving deep into my dark thoughts, my memories. But I heard his voice, I felt my panic, my chest constricting as though I was drowning, so tired. My strength had finally gone. His voice began to pull like a rope from the depths of the my sea of memories, like an anchor to hold me, keep me alive. I sucked in a shaky breath as though breaking the surface of water, my body trembling with sudden cold. "That's it, deep breaths Eddy. Your ok" Peters voice, his hair, his eyes, his familiar warming scent, the feeling of safety. My eyes flew open and I began to calm. Hands curled into my brothers chest. 

"S-sorry" I stammered regaining my wits once more. Panic attacks weren't often. Thank god. 

"What's so scary?" Peter asked quietly, a hand rubbing my back soothingly. Lucy had left. "I don't want it to happen again Pete. I don't want Lucy to change" I mumbled, eyes on the floor. He shifted, I flinched. "Oh Ed. Lucy won't change. Not like Su and I." Peter kissed my hair. "You promised not to but you did. What if it happens with Lu? I can't watch her drift away Pete, I can't pick up the pieces this time" I croaked eyes wet. 

"You don't need to" 

I'm King Edmund the Just, Duke of Lantern Waste, Count of the Western March and Knight of the Noble Order of the Table. 

And sometimes I don't need to pick up the pieces. Sometimes others pick them up for me.


End file.
